A selection of the most common questions we get.
How did you find out you were more than one?
Well, hindsight being the lovely clear thing it is, the signs were always there. A feeling of waking up when we'd physically been awake for hours. A half-remembered conversation with someone else. Knowing that "I" was someone else that day but not fully grasping what that meant. Then around 1996 we started sorting it out; a combination of meditation and introspective work helped us open our minds and start real conversations with each other.
Are you just fragments of one person?
We don't think so, no. Everyone here remembers their own life and reactions clearly, with no sense of being anything except delightfully, wholly themselves.
Do you have DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder)?
We don't believe so. Aside from a little fuzziness while we sorted out what was happening, we've always had a very clear sense of both ourselves and one another. It's just a different way of being wired, that's all.
Aren't you just different emotions? Doesn't everyone get angry or sad or wear different hats?
Each person here has their own range of emotions and metaphorical hats they wear depending on what they're doing that day.
But ... this is so weird. I just don't think it's possible!
That's ok. The world is a big place and if this isn't something that interests you, just move on. It's a little unusual, sure, but we're ok with that. People in our lives generally find it pretty easy to get used to after the initial surprise; you're welcome to stick around and see if that holds true for you, too.
So how exactly did this happen?
From our perspective, it seems like our body happened to come with more than one soul attached. Our favourite analogy is the car: Most people have one car (body) with one driver. We happen to carpool.
But how can you know you're real?
We always find this question interesting. And, truly without sarcasm or making light of it - how do you know you're real? It's just a sense, right? You have a sense of who you are: What you like, what you don't, how you like your tea, that you not-so-secretly love to pop bubble wrap, and that a good pun can make you laugh till you ache. But we bet you don't walk around thinking "I'm me because I exist in one body!". You're you because you're you. It's just like that for each person here. I (Tristan) am me because I'm me. Ashe is Ashe because he's Ashe. The same consistent, conscious person that you are, just not the sole owner of the car we drive.
So is this a spiritual thing to you? Like channeling?
We definitely see ourselves as individual spirits who happen to share a body, yeah. It probably does have some resemblance to channeling or mediumship if you want to see it that way, and for a while we did use those terms for it, but we ultimately moved away from them because of the connotations of being here to spread a message or bring through messages from deceased relatives (neither of which we are here to do and the latter we couldn't do if you gave us a fully fitted Victorian parlor with table ready to rap!)
Do you really believe you're from another world?
Yes and no (points for clarity, eh!). We certainly experience going to another place when we're not here. This experience of living between worlds has given us some interesting perspectives on life. Did the other world pre-exist our life here? Quite possibly. Did we create it in some way? Quite possibly.
Why do you all have such weird names?
Why not? Honestly, most people here knew their names from the get-go, so unusual or not, they're what we've got and we're fine with that. We like unusual. And it could be worse.
Why are you so open? Aren't you scared?
Fucking terrified some days, but you know what? Life is awfully short and if you're going to spend it not being yourself (or in our case yourselves) just in case someone doesn't like it or doesn't accept you? You're going to waste a beautiful opportunity. Not to mention that it's really hard to form authentic friendships and relationships if you keep yourself behind a mask 24/7.
Why do you swear so much?
Some of us tend towards colourful language, and we're ok with that. We don't swear to excess in our writing, but yeah, you'll find the occasional f-bomb or other colourful word. We realise it will offend some people but we can't please all of the people all of the time, and there are plenty of other websites to read out there.
Why do you all sound the same?
Another interesting question! For one thing, if you read through an email exchange between yourself and another person, nine times out of ten you wouldn't be using the English language that differently. Also, we tend to edit our writing as a group, which has an influence, and not to mention that we have spent most of our lives pretending to be one person so adopting a "group style" has become second nature to us. Get to know a handful of us as individuals and you'll start seeing the subtle differences.
How do people normally react?
Honestly, people are usually more relieved than anything! Most people tell us they'd noticed differences in our behaviour and attitude and got really confused, even wondering if we were mad at them or joking that we were a different person that day. When we explain there's usually a sense of "ah, now I get you!". Once people find out, they usually find us much easier to relate to, because they understand that instead of one terribly inconsistent friend, they have a bunch of very consistent friends.
What does your partner think of all this?
She knew what she was getting into! We told her really early on, when we were still just friends. She tells us that life is never dull, and it's good to know that whatever film she fancies watching or dinner she fancies eating, there's a good chance someone here will be all over that.
Is it difficult to keep track?
Not exactly, but it does take a high degree of organisation sometimes! We do have our fair share of "who bought these pants?" and "who used the last of the chilli sauce?" moments, but for the most part we keep things straight.
Why did you start this blog? Who is it for?
We started it to share our experiences, in the hope of helping someone else who is living as more than one feel more comfortable with themselves. It's for anyone who wants to read it. Whether you have many minds in a body or just one, are diagnosed DID, multiple in another way, or living with spirit guides or muses, curious about our experiences, or simply interested in self acceptance and self advocacy, this blog is for you.
We also blog at Travel Notes From The Otherworld, where we write more about our perspectives on life, simplicity and self esteem. This blog also serves as a more personal adjunct to that, with a stronger focus on living as more than one.
Why do you switch between I and we in posts? Can you not get your grammar straight?
Not get our grammar straight? Ask us our opinion on the Oxford comma sometime, and settle in for a rant! Seriously though, getting the grammar straight when you're multiple can get a little sticky, but for the most part it's simple: The "I" in each post is the author, whose opinion you're reading. If they happen to mention shared opinions or experiences (as we're doing right now!), they might slip into using the "royal we", but the post itself will usually be written from one single perspective. We definitely don't agree on everything! We do use post labels so you know who's writing.
I used your contact form, why didn't you answer?
It's possible that we simply didn't get a chance - as well as blogging, we have a job and a house to keep in order! Or perhaps your question was a bit on the personal side - we're fairly open but we're not going to answer anything and everything. Maybe you were rude or made assumptions about us, in which case you didn't give us any reason to spend time and energy answering. Or perhaps your message got lost in the spam folder, for which we apologise. Sometimes we forget to feed it and it eats the nearest message.
You're a bit spiky, aren't you?
We'd like to think that we treat people as we would want to be treated ourselves, and we value kindness and respect. But we don't owe people an explanation, and we believe having good boundaries about how you allow people to treat you is a vital part of living a happier life. So yeah, if someone comes at us with rudeness, entitlement or assumptions, we're going to invite them to the field where we grow our fucks, but if you're decent to us you'll find a warm welcome.
You're not real / you must be deluded / you can't possibly be more than one person / have you got help for this?
We've lumped all of these together because the answer is a simple "take it or leave it". We're proud of who we are and we don't mind answering respectful questions, but life's too short to waste energy justifying ourselves.
